one time I had this dream that I logged on to amazon and my account had like negative four trillion dollars because i accidentally bought the city of Paris
(Source: distractors, via breakfast-with-satan)
The day of my marriage, a secret contract was slipped in amongst the others. The French arranged it with my mother. It gives Scotland to France, if I die without an heir.
(Source: overrunbyscots, via reigndaily)